Many of us, most particularly of the feminine persuasion, pass through various stages in life wherein we do seemingly mindless kinds of actions. Some of which tends to put into question, the sanity of our being, under the influence of that thing called love. The things we get ourselves in and the things that we do for it, sometimes really do defy good judgment and reason as to say that love is really an indefinable thing or that it is blind just to name a few clichés.
One such dilemma, amongst other things, is of why some women insist on staying with an overly controlling boyfriend. The reasons surrounding such relationships we truly may not know fully about, but the basic tenet of freedom among us human beings seems to be acceptingly surrendered by one party in this kind of union.
Maybe the offended party, most usually females, lack the proper self-esteem needed to recognize the abuse, or maybe she truly loves her boyfriend amidst of it all. Maybe she is too afraid that she’ll never find another boyfriend after this one or is not very versed on how to get over someone that she’d rather stick with what is already available, even if she’s already suffering from it hoping that eventually he’ll change for the better. A baseless if not foolish hope of what could have been.
So what are the sure signs that you have an overly controlling boyfriend?
He’s putting you down constantly
He sees the wrong in everything you do and always makes it a point to show that you can’t do anything right without his help. He is subtly destroying your self-confidence which eventually makes you dependent on him for everything.
He abhors you having fun without him
It’s okay for you to have fun, as long as it is with him only. Going out with your friends is a big mistake with him, and if you ever thought of bringing him with you, he’ll never interact with your buddies and will make sure you’ll have a rotten time.
He’s boxing you in his world
You can’t really do anything without him and you kind of lose your freedom from doing things. He has his own rules about your relationship which are absolute and you can’t reallyobject to it.If and when you do confront him about it and somehow make a stand, he’ll break down and make you pity him which is a kind of an emotional blackmail.
Other traits of a controlling boyfriend include his insecurity towards you and the way he always doubts everything that you do. He always finds ways to get jealous even with your friends and family. So if you find these things in your current boyfriend, you better run as fast as you can the other way and leave him. Don’t wait for him to eventually get violent as that is the next logical stage to his controlling ways. Always remember that you went into a relationship for a life of love not a life of fear.
Published: February 7, 2014